


disintegrated aspirations

by ruiconteur



Series: begins as a lump in the throat [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Domestic Violence, Don’t copy to another site, please be careful!!!, self-care is avoiding things that will trigger/affect you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruiconteur/pseuds/ruiconteur
Summary: there is a tree in the middle of the road.
Series: begins as a lump in the throat [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694134





	disintegrated aspirations

there is a tree in the middle of the road. it fell  
in the rainstorm last night and now no one dares to remove it,  
because its leaves are rotting away and  
holes are exposed like grinning faces. now the tree in the middle of the road  
looks like something from a nightmare, a horror movie,  
like the one we'd snuck out to see.

now mosses are sprouting all around it, creeping  
over the trunk and ensconcing the bark in  
its green embrace that suffocates it and lets nothing else pass  
through its obsessive possession of the bark that no one else can touch.  
no one is allowed near it anymore. they say  
it might collapse, and maybe that is

how we fail, because our love has turned into  
a drug, one we refuse to let go of, even when it’s clear  
that it’s turning toxic and poisonous and  
everything we promised ourselves we would never turn into.  
my screams turn to muffled sobs when you press me up  
against the door and have your way with me.  
yours turn to the silence of cold lips and colder skin. it leaves  
mottled blue marks on my wrists and thighs.

we sleep in separate beds that night. i wake up to a cold mug of coffee  
and a short note saying  
you had to go to work, sorry, don’t wait up.  
isn’t it funny how that’s always your excuse? you drown  
yourself in work to escape thinking about what you’ve done.  
i drown myself in the scalding bathwater and hope  
the reddened skin will hide the bruises you left.

you’ll pass by the tree on your way back home. except  
it’s not home anymore, is it? i can feel  
the fractures in the walls the same way i would the rotting holes  
in the leaves if i ran my hands over them. it’s odd that  
no one else could  
until you punched me for hugging my sister  
at her sweet sixteen, alcohol hanging heavy on your breath.

there is a tree in the middle of the road.  
or is it us? left on display after your outburst at the party  
last night, exposed and rotting in the clean air  
i’m breathing for the first time since i met you. we’ve  
been eroding the roots in our wait to see who will crack and apologise first.  
i don't think you were surprised when i left instead.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](https://ruiconteur.tumblr.com) or [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/ruiconteur/)!


End file.
